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Funeral ServicesWe Are Here For You -
From Death to Life: Praying for the Dead
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It has been the practice of the Church, as a loving guide, not simply to commend the dead to God, but also to raise high the hope of its children and to give witness to its own faith in the future resurrection of the baptized with Christ. In the face of death, the Church confidently proclaims that God has created each person for eternal life and that Jesus, the Son of God, by His death and resurrection has broken the chains of sin and death that bound humanity.
Christians celebrate the funeral rites to offer worship, praise and thanksgiving to God for the gift of life which has now been returned to God, the author of life and the hope of the just. The celebration of the Christian funeral brings hope and consolation to the living. While proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus Christ and witnessing to Christian hope in the resurrection, the funeral rites also recall to all who take part in them God’s mercy and judgement and meet the human need to turn always to God in times of crisis.
All baptized Catholics and those preparing to enter the Church (Catechumens) have the right to a Christian burial in the Catholic church. Funeral rites may also be celebrated for a child who died before an intended baptism and for baptized members of another Christian community, so long as a Catholic funeral celebration does not go against the wishes of the deceased and if a minister of their own is not available.
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To Arrange a Funeral at St. Bernadette:
Please contact the Parish Office at 281-486-0337 as soon as possible. It is also helpful if you are able to contact us before your loved one has died so that we can help you prepare, as well as pray with and for your family.
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A Catholic Funeral:
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Vigil
- Most personal service
- With good friends and relatives
- Usually the evening/day before the funeral
- Can include music
- Can be led by a family member or lay minister
- Visitation is the best place for eulogies and open sharing
- Visitation can include a rosary
- Objective is to bring out memories
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Mass/Service
- Most public service
- Most important service
- Plan this first
- Includes Music and Readings as at a Sunday Mass
- Objective is to provide comfort and healing
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Committal
- Most private of the three services
- Usually only closest people attend
- Can include scripture and music
- Can be led by a family member or lay minister
- Objective is expressing hope and letting go
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Further Details:
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Vigil
This is an optional service and is a choice to be made by the family. The vigil service is the natural time for the expression of our sorrow. This service is geared toward providing support, consolation, and sympathy to the family and friends of the departed Christian. The Vigil service takes place during an arranged time of visitation, either at the funeral home, family home or even at the Church. A time for visitation allows time to retell and rejoice in the memory of the one who has died. Recalling favorite stories can be life giving for family and friends.
The Rosary was the traditional prayer of the Catholic wake service prior to Vatican II. Though the rosary is soothing to some people, it may not allow for the participation of non-Catholics to pray together with those who are gathered to remember the deceased. The liturgical revisions of the Church ask that a Vigil service (usually based on a Liturgy of the Word) be kept as the main prayer component when keeping watch with a family.
Here is an example of a timeline for a visitation at a funeral home, allowing for a variety of prayer:
5:30pm
Private visitation for family only begins6:00pm
Visitation open to the public begins
(this can be with or without a viewing of the body or with cremated remains)
7:00pm
Vigil Service, led by a deacon, priest, a family member or lay minister
7:30pm – 8pm
Time can be offered for prepared eulogies and/or open to anyone who wishes to share their memories of the deceased with others8:00pm
The evening can formally close with a Rosary for those who wish to stay and pray, ideally led by a family member or friend
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Funeral Mass or Service
Families should prepare to meet with clergy or parish staff to prepare the Funeral Mass or Service as well as the Vigil service (if chosen). You will discuss options regarding the readings, music and other prayers for the service.
Here are some things to keep in mind:
- A Funeral Mass always has either the body or cremated remains of the deceased present. If cremation is chosen, the Funeral Mass may be celebrated before the body is cremated and the Rite of Committal celebrated once the cremation takes place. The Funeral Mass may also be celebrated after cremation takes place, with the cremated remains present, immediately followed by the Rite of Committal.
- If the Funeral is celebrated at the funeral home or at a cemetery chapel, the Mass is not celebrated.
- Even at the Church, a Funeral Mass may not be celebrated during the Easter Triduum (Holy Thursday through Easter Sunday), on Solemnities and on Sundays. On these days, a Funeral service is the only option.
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Committal
This rite is often called a “graveside service” and takes place at the cemetery. It usually immediately follows the Funeral Mass or Service, though at times this is not possible. The service can be led by clergy, a lay minister or family member with a simple order of service provided by the Church.
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Let us help you: set up a Church Meeting
As a parish, we are here for you and your family as you prepare to bury your loved one. One of the ways we can do this is by setting up a preparation meeting with you to help gather everything needed for the funeral.
When preparing to meet with clergy or parish staff to prepare for the funeral and Vigil services, you are welcome to bring family members or close friends to assist you. A typical preparation meeting will last 1 – 1 1⁄2 hours if you have not already selected your scripture to allow you time to review the different options. See below for links in the Funeral Checklist reading options if you are able to review these choices before your meeting.It is helpful if you can email a photo of your loved one, along with the obituary to the parish (sent to [email protected]) to be used for the funeral worship aid. Click here to see a sample worship aid.
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Catholic Funeral Planning Checklist
From 'The Art of Dying Well'
(words in gold are clickable links)- Choose a funeral home
- Choose between a Burial or Cremation
- Decide whether to have funeral at church, cemetery or funeral home
- If church funeral, decide whether you want a Catholic funeral Mass, or service (not Mass - without communion)
- Set the date of the funeral
- Make a list of those you would like to attend
- Select Catholic funeral readings
- Select Catholic funeral music choices (see below)
- Select funeral intercessions (see below)
- Decide what family/friends will do at the funeral. For example, serve as pall bearers, place pall on the coffin, bring up the bread and wine at funeral Mass.
- Decide whether you want someone to speak in memory of the person
- Decide if you want to have a reception after the funeral
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Funeral Music
- We encourage you to select at least 2 songs, though you may select more
- You may select songs not on the list below, with the approval by the Director of Music and Worship
- Parish staff will place your song selections in the appropriate places within the funeral liturgy
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- Amazing Grace
- Be Not Afraid (B. Dufford)
- How Great Thou Art
- Make Me A Channel of Your Peace / Prayer of St. Francis (S. Temple)
- On Eagle's Wings (M. Joncas)
- Eye Has Not Seen (M. Haugen)
- Sing With All the Saints in Glory
- I Have Loved You (M. Joncas)
- All is Well with My Soul (C. Landry)
- I Know that My Redeemer Lives (S. Soper)
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- Gift of Finest Wheat (O. Westendorf)
- I Am the Bread of Life (S. Toolan)
- One Bread, One Body (J. Foley)
- Taste and See (J. Moore)
- Behold the Lamb (M. Willett)
- Worthy is the Lamb (R. Manalo)
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- Panis Angelicus (C. Franck)
- Ave Maria (Schubert or Back-Gounod)
- Pie Jesu (Faure or Webber)
- Shelter Me (M. Joncas)
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- Like a Shepherd (B. Dufford)
- Shelter Me O God (B. Hurd)
- Soon and Very Soon (A. Crouch)
- The Summons (J. Bell)
- Shepherd Me, O God (M. Haugen)
- Let There Be Peace on Earth
- Here I Am, Lord (D. Schutte)
- Only in God (J. Foley)
- You Are Near (D. Schutte)
- The Cloud's Veil (L. Lawton)
- God, Our Source and Life, Unite Us (T. Thompson)
- Be Thou My Vision
- Come to the Water (J. Foley)
- Shall We Gather at the River
- Jerusalem, My Happy Home
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Funeral Intercessions
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In baptism __________ received the light of Christ. Scatter the darkness now and lead him/her over the waters of death.
We pray to the Lord. R/. Lord, hear our prayer
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Many friends and members of our families have gone before us and await your kingdom. Grant them an everlasting home with your Son.
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Today many are dying by violence, war, famine, disease, and natural disasters. Show your mercy to those who suffer, and gather them into your eternal kingdom of peace.
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For those who mourn, especially the family and friends of __________ . Grant them comfort and consolation. Heal their pain and dispel the darkness and doubt that come from grief.
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For those who are serving in the armed forces, we thank you for protecting our freedom and pray that you return safely to your loved ones.
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Lord Jesus, gentle Shepherd, who brings rest to our souls, give peace to __________ forever.
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For __________ , who in baptism was given the pledge of eternal life, that he/she may now be admitted to the company of the saints.
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For our brother/sister who ate the body of Christ, the bread of life, that he/she may be raised up on the last day.
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For our deceased relatives and friends and for all who have helped us, that they may have reward of their goodness.
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For the family and friends of our brother/sister __________ that they may be consoled in their grief by the Lord, who wept at the death of his friend Lazarus.
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For all of us assembled here to worship in faith, that we may be gathered together again in God’s kingdom.
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What to Bring to the Funeral
While there is no set list of items you need to bring to the Church for the funeral, you may wish to consider:
- Prayer cards (often available as a service through the funeral home)
- Pictures of your loved one (some can be displayed in the Narthex, as well as in the parish hall if there will be a meal after the burial or service).
- Items for a Remembrance Table/display in the parish hall if it will be used for a meal.
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Helpful F.A.Q. - The Art of Dying Well
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If you choose to have a Catholic funeral one of the first decisions to be considered is whether to opt for a burial or a cremation. Both are acceptable in the Catholic faith.
You have the options of cremating your loved one either before or after the Funeral.- If you cremate their body after the Funeral, the body will be present for the Funeral and the Funeral can take place sooner. After the Funeral, the body is taken to the crematorium. Once the body is cremated then the burial can take place.
- If you cremate their body before the Funeral, then the ashes will be present for the Funeral. Determining the date for the Funeral will be dependent on the cremation process and timeline. After the Funeral, the ashes can be immediately taken for burial.
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- A Catholic funeral Mass usually lasts an hour.
- A Catholic funeral service (not Mass) takes around 40 minutes.
- A Catholic funeral service at the cemetery or crematorium usually takes about 20 minutes.
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No, Mass is optional at a church funeral and should be celebrated if the people gathered understand and will participate in the Eucharist.
Note: A funeral Mass is not allowed at the cemetery or crematorium. If the funeral is celebrated outside the Church, it will be a service (without communion).
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- Catholic funerals can take place at any time.
- The timing is often restricted by availability of the church, funeral home, cemetery or crematorium.
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Catholic funerals may be celebrated on any day except:
- Holy days of obligation
- Holy Thursday
- Good Friday
- Holy Saturday
- Easter Sunday
- Sundays of Advent, Lent, and Easter
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The Catholic Church allows funerals on Sunday but in practice, but they would typically take place at a Funeral home or cemetery, which are not usually available for funerals on Sunday.
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If you aren’t sure, formal attire is best. There is no requirement to wear black.
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If you receive no instructions, check with the family. They may ask only family to bring flowers and ask others to make a donation to a designated charity.
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In most cases, children should be encouraged to go to funerals. Attending funerals helps them to understand that death is a natural part of life.
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At St. Bernadette, a relative or friend of the deceased is welcome to share a eulogy, read a poem or share their memories of the person who has died. This takes place before the Mass or service begins. Note that some sharing and stories can be offered at the reception after the funeral, if there is one.
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All music selections must be approved by the Director of Worship. In general, non-religious music is played at the gravesite or the reception after the funeral.
A favorite poem could be include words spoken in memory of the person. Alternatively, it could be printed in the funeral worship aid or read at the reception afterwards.
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Contact Us
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Cristina Garcia-Luenseworshipstbchurch.orgDirector of Music and Worship
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Jeanette Valdezvaldezjstbchurch.orgParish Secretary
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